Epiphany!

I just found myself doing the strangest thing. Like I said the other night, I've been reading Women, Food and God. Well I really came to an epiphany today during my lunch period while I was reading it. I actually had such an issue putting the book down that I accidentally went over my lunch time by ten  minutes. I'm impressed with it. I will share more on that in the future.

Anyway, I did a little yard work and a little TV time. Around 9pm, I got up off the couch and went looking for the book, knowing well that I made a point of making sure I brought the book home. I looked everywhere: where I put my purse down, in the kitchen, the bedroom where I went to change out of my work clothes and into yard clothes, the car, and back up to the bedroom to check again, just in case. It wasn't anywhere! Ugh! I must have left it at work.

My first thought was that I hoped I didn't leave it on the counter where the cleaning people would surely take it (although I know it would still be there in the morning). My second thought was that I could drive the 10 minutes to the branch and the 10 minutes back to pick it up. But it was already ten after nine and by the time I got back it would be after 9:30 and why waste the gas when prices were so high.

My third thought was "This is stressing me out, I need something sugary". Really!!?? Where the hell did that come from!? I'll admit, I ignored the rational thoughts and went for the cupboard. There wasn't anything sugary in there! I spotted a bag of salad croutons that I swear only had crumbs left at the bottom. Somehow a craving for sugar changed into a craving for salt.  I ate one of those before I realized we had a bag of homemade Chex mix in in another cupboard. It took me about two handfuls of the snack mix before I realized what I was doing. I took another handful before I actually ripped the bag from my mind and put it back in its place. 

Was I really stress eating over a book? Am I crazy?! And over a book about losing weight! I knew it was something I had to write about. Women, Food and God talks about breathing and feeling my center, ie my belly. So here I sit, with my now full glass of ice water, feeling my belly from the inside out trying to focus. And it's working. I can't believe I would binge over something so trivial.

I need to take moments like this and recognize what I am doing. I don't want to eat so mindlessly and filled with emotion. I am going to treat my body with the respect it deserves. I have been put on this planet for a fraction of a relative moment in earth's history. I don't want to be so cliche and say my body is a vessel but I am going not be numb anymore.

I am emotional right now and I could just write about this for hours and write about how I am going to make these changes. I want to finish the book first. The book that put me here in the first place. I'm going to bed with my glass of ice water, happy and satisfied and I will write more later.

Women Food and God (and Friends)

I received this wonderful little book in the mail on Saturday afternoon. I am borrowing it from Becky over at The Fab Miss B. She recently re-read the book before sending it to me all the way from Hawaii. Please go to her blog to read about her experience with the book. I will be reading this book in the coming weeks. I am looking forward to what it has to tell me. I'll write a review and my thoughts on the book when I complete it.

A little bit about Becky. We went to high school together. I knew who she was but in a graduating class of over 600, we did not have the same group of friends and it was easy not to have a single similar class.  My first memory of her is in 8th grade when we were put in the library for some standardized testing. I remember thinking she was super nice, in 8th grader talk. She is definitely one of those people that I wish I would have been friends with when we lived in the same state. Maybe I will just have to make an excuse to go visit Hawaii.

Becky is genuine, caring, supportive, and extremely down to earth. I can relate to so many of her blog entries. Her entries often make me feel like I'm wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket on a cold day. They are comforting. Please read her blog and check out her Etsy shop. I wish I was nearly as creative as she is.

Do you have friends you've made recently that you wished you'd been close to your whole life?