A Look Back

A Look Back

As I continue to look forward to my race on Sunday, I have also taken some time to look back on the
last year since committing to this event. In some ways, I never thought I would be where I am but in
other ways, I thought I would have been further in my journey.

A year ago, the thought of running made me sick. I knew I had never been a strong runner and was not looking forward to recommitting to shin splints, side aches, and numb feet. I remember when I had to run the mile in Jr. High in under 11minutes, I walked about half of that mile. I probably could run the mile when I was in high school, right at the end of ski season when I was taking my gym course in the spring. I was passing people and it felt great! I wanted to embrace that feeling again. It was one of those nonessential high school moments that I will never forget. I started out slow. My goal was to run a mile without having to stop to walk.

So I just started running. I was walking mostly and running a little bit here and there. I had no set
schedule and no watch. I would just run as long as I could without stopping to walk or rest. I would
watch the time on my iPod. I wouldn’t go all that long, maybe 20 seconds and then I would walk until I felt like I had my breath back, then I would jog again for a few seconds. I thought I was going to be able to run a 5k by Thanksgiving. I didn’t quite make it.

I started keeping track of my progress on Dailymile. It was great to have a place to see how much I was improving. It also helped with my motivation. I was working out after work, before I had the chance to go home and sit down on the couch. I did this in the late afternoon light and in the dark after daylight savings time. I did it until it got really cold, when I stopped for 2 months.

I wish I could say that it was the cold air that made me stop working towards running. In reality, it
was actually a compliment about how much more toned I was looking since I had started working out. Instead of keeping the hard work up, I just stopped. I wish I could explain what was going through my mind when I decided to just stop working out because I had one compliment. I would think it would work in reverse and actually push me to go harder to get even better results. But it didn’t. I thought that because I was looking thinner, I could just take a break from exercising so I did.

Into March, I decided enough was enough and I needed to get my butt out the door. I didn’t belong to
a gym so I made sure I bundled up before I headed out into the cold. I wasn’t exercising many times
a week but I was still doing it right after work before I went home for the day. I started out again not
doing any running plan. I was jogging a block or so and stopping to walk and then jogging another
block.

In early April, I joined a group of bloggers online. We committed to doing a 5k on Memorial Day in the Twin Cities. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was never one to put myself into a situation where I didn’t know anyone. I’ve written about that before. When I started really getting a goal in front of me is when I started training using Couch to 5k. It is an excellent program and I would recommend it to anyone. I ran that 5k in 40 minutes. I was so happy! I had ran 7 minutes without stopping. That was the longest I had gone without walking and I was so happy! 

I had my second 5k race two weeks later. I ran that one a full minute faster at 39 minutes. I was happy about that one too. I still hadn't been able to run more than five minutes at a time. I knew I had a lot of training ahead of me for the rest of the summer. I was hopeful that it wouldn't get too hot. I didn't have another opportunity to run a 5k until Labor Day. I ran that one in 38 minutes. I'm getting faster but I feel like I should be progressing faster than what I am. But overall, i'm pretty happy about my progress.

I just read the athlete guide for my race. I was aware of a time limit on the bike portion of the race (2.5 hours) but I was not aware of a time limit on the run (26 mins for 2 miles). I guess I'm not really worried about the first 2 miles but I am really worried about the second set of 2 miles after I finish my ride. The last time I did a brick workout, my shins tightened up and I could barely walk. So, now im worried because I typically run just under a 13 minute mile when my legs are feeling good. I hope hope hope I dont get pushed off the race!

Tomorrow I will talk about the goals I thought I would have achieved by now.

Blog Purpose

This new blog has a purpose. This purpose was inspired in part by Donna of The Year of Living Healthfully and A Quiet Life.

I'm committing myself to a new path in life.

The past few months since Pat and I moved into our new house I'll admit that I haven't been myself. I've been in the dumps emotionally and physically. Summer is supposed to be a time of activity and joy. My summer was spent inside on the couch while my husband enjoyed the weather outside, I'm sure frustrated that I wasn't joining him in the constant yard work. I hated this summer. It was hot, it was humid and there were lots of mosquitoes. So there I sat, on the couch, in front of the wide screen tv, wearing a dent in the cushions, my jeans getting tighter as the days went on. There were some good times like the actual moving in to the new house and our summer celebration with friends and family around the 4th of July but more of the time I think I was depressed.

As the somewhat chilly weather of Autumn has moved into southern Wisconsin, I have started to feel my brain start to clear. I've discovered that I hate feeling like I am just existing in this life of mine. I'm 28 years old and married to a wonderful man...and I'm just existing. I feel like I'm missing something. I'm not sure what it is but it's time to find that thing or those things I am missing.

I am one of those 20-somethings that didn't discover in college what I wanted to do with my life. I work at a bank, I like it for now so I don't think what I'm missing is a career. A career doesn't always make a person and I definitely am not the type that is defined by a career, or it is that I don't want to be.

I'm overweight. I hate to say it but I am and I have been since the day I graduated from high school. Who ever heard of the Freshman 15...oh and the Sophomore 15, and Junior...maybe Senior 15 too? Every time I've had a major change in my life, I've gained weight. There is one exception, and that was my wedding. I was not happy with how I felt in my wedding dress so I lost about 15 lbs after my wedding and I kept it off for a year and a half. I gained back that weight this summer, the summer of the couch. Ultimate weight loss goal, 60 lbs from where I am this day.

I need to find some extracurricular things to do besides get up in the morning, go to work, come home from work, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I thought the sorority alumnae group would work for me. I haven't quite decided on that outcome yet.

So, what is the purpose of this new blog "destroying dead ends"? It's just that. I'm not going to let there be dead ends in my life anymore. I'm going to conquer those scary and nervous moments that don't let me move on, the ones that keep me from getting off the couch and make the change. Those dead end moments when I get home from work and think I am just too tired to go for a walk. Those dead ends when I want to eat half a pizza and then regret it after I swallow my last bite.

I don't quite know the details of how I'm going to do it yet. I have set myself some mental but more physical challenges over the next year. I am going to be doing the Lifetime Fitness Turkey Day 5k again this year, but the plan is to jog the whole distance. I also plan on the Krazy Legs 8k in the spring in Madison. The ultimate goal is the Iron Girl Duathlon a year from today. Some of these are large goals but I am sure that I can do it.

New running shoes were purchased yesterday in Minnetonka, a gift from my mother. I'm not really sure if she thinks I am going to follow through this time. I've made commitments like this in the past. And I almost never follow through but I know I need to do this.

Other changes that need to be made are the conscious decisions that need to be made on a constant basis. I need to make good decisions about what goes into my mouth, what I say to people, how I feel when I wake up in the morning, what sort of day I'm going to have, what I buy, how I listen, how to be a good friend, about keeping this blog updated, and how to be a wonderful wife.

Sleepiness is taking over my fingers at this moment, making it a very slow typing process. I will give another post tomorrow when I am home.

Goodnight!