Not Waiting Until Monday

I posted earlier in the week on my Facebook page about how getting exercise makes me think.  Sometimes I enjoy the direction my thoughts go and sometimes I don't.  I can really relate to Ann who talks about negative thinking and how it gets to her.  That's how my thoughts go sometimes.  Sometimes I really just get down on myself, thinking "there is no way I can do this. My legs hurt, I just need to stop.  I'm never going to lose weight.  I'm not good enough to do this.  I'm just going to fail again."  But then I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. 

On my Facebook page, I announced that I had some ideas rolling around in my head and I would start posting them after my Iron Girl event this Sunday in the Twin Cities.  But earlier in the week I was reading Hank's blog over at The Business of Losing Weight.  He was posting about the five things that hinder weight loss.  The first item on the list was "Waiting until Monday".  He wrote about how everyone's excuse it to wait until Monday but realistically we should just start right that moment the idea crosses our brains, the moment that self-doubt sets in. 

So that's what I did.  I couldn't even get work done until I got the goals written down while I was at work.  I wrote some goals on paper and then narrowed them down to three achievable goals to complete in 100 days.  100 days from Wednesday ends on December 28th 2012.  I think this is perfect because then I can evaluate my progress and make some goals for the new year. 

Here are my goals for the next 100 days:

1. NO EXCUSES
2. Lose 30 lbs
3. Run a 5k in 35 minutes or less

 Of course, the coaching supervisor in me asks for some action plans.  Action plans are the specific steps I am going to take to achieve each goal.  Here are my action plans for my three goals:

1.  No Excuses
     - Take ownership of my actions
     - Keep the goals in the forefront of my mind and my decisions

2.  Lose 30 lbs
    - Do some sort of cardio 45min/day, 5 days/week
    - Lift 3 days/week
    - Eat clean w/ one cheat meal per week (this was something I had to be honest with myself about)
    - Track calories on MyFitnessPal.com with a daily goals of 1500 calories (if you want to follow me there, my user name is my first and last name, no spaces)
    - Drink 100 oz of water daily

3.  Run a 5k in 35 minutes or less
    - Push myself during running workouts
    - Do some speed work on the treadmill or outside.

The next three blog posts will touch on each of these goals, why they made the first 100 days, and how I am doing on them.  Last year at this time, I made weekly mini goals and was able to maintain most of them through the end of the calendar year.  I contemplated doing that again but they didn't ultimately get me to reach my goals. 

So keep coming back to read.  I plan on posting on Sunday night or Monday morning about how Iron Girl 2012 went.  Here is to starting now and not Monday!

Ps. 94 days until Christmas.  If you want ideas for me: Running tights, long sleeved bike jersey, recommendations on good sports bras for us smaller chested ladies.  Smart Wool socks. 

Just A Little Update

I don't really have anything specific to write about tonight. So I'll just touch base on some things.

The Iron Girl duathlon is in less than 10 days in Bloomington, MN.  Since my training was shortened due to my injury, I am really worried about whether or not I'm prepared, atleast as much as I was last year.  Last year, I had done quite a bit more training for this event.  I didn't really start training this year until a month ago.  I've done a couple of brick workouts over the past two weeks, my most recent one being yesterday. (Here is a great resource on brick workouts).  I plan on getting another run in tomorrow and another brick work out some time this weekend.  I will say, I only did one brick workout before my race last year.  I am also trying to get my fueling cleared up before the race so that I don't run into leg cramping like I did last year or an upset stomach.  If you want to come out to cheer, check out their website for more information.

My eating has been off again. I think it started since we haven't been going to the grocery store and haven't been staying up with the clean eating plans I actually pay for each month.  Today I was reading Ann's blog over at Twelve-in-Twelve.  Everyone knows I am an avid reader of Ann's blog.  Today she wrote about this October Unprocessed challenge. I'm seriously thinking about joining the challenge, along with Pat, to see if we can do it for 31 days, ending in a Halloween candy binge (just kidding).  I know this would be really good for us. Does anyone want to join us in the challenge?

Ann also had an interesting article on her Facebook page today.  The question was "What food should you eliminate forever?" The answer was "The one you are most terrified to give up."  I had to think about this for a moment, really being unable to decide between which two things would scare me the most to give up.  I know I can give up soda, I don't really have an obsession with coffee and I'm not a huge desert person (I've learned that if it's not in my house, I wont eat it.) So what would I give up forever? Processed sugar product would be one of them. This includes candy which is a horrible weakness for me.  The other one would be bread.  I like bread.  Who doesn't like bread?

Which food would you be most terrified to give up?

Tough Decision

I really haven't been around much here for multiple reasons. After my big half marathon race at the beginning of the month of May, I stayed away from blogging for a little while. Maybe I just needed a break. The night after that race, I had some severe pain right above my pubic bone. I had experienced this same pain after each of my training runs that were longer than eight miles. I figured it was just an overuse injury and that I could get passed just like all my other random aches from when I started running. This was different. It just kept getting worse the longer the mileage got. When I was asked to rate this pain by the doctor, I put it up at about an 8. It was very very painful. She diagnosed it as a problem with my Sacroiliac Joint (SI) in my lower back.


She gave me a referral to PT and asked that I make an appointment and told me not to run until my appointment. I listened to her for the most part except I wasn't have any pain anymore. So the day before my PT appointment, I did run, only four miles but I did run and I did have pain. Well, there wasn't really pain while I was running but more of an overall weakness. When I met with the physical therapist, she measured and looked at my hips and my back. She literally pulled on my left leg. She moved and stretched me and pulled my leg again. I felt like bliss when I walked out of there. She agreed with my primary. My left hip sits a little higher than my right hip which causes the misalignment in my back which causes the pain over my pubic bone.  She wants to see me for 8 weekly appointments. She doesn't want me to do any exercising that hurts and recommends I don't do any long running for the first four to six weeks of our appointments. This made me really have to think about my marathon training.

From today, I am 16 weeks out from the race. This is plenty of time to train for a marathon. If I take out the six weeks maximum she said it would take to fix me with various exercises and strengthening, that puts me at 10 weeks but with minimal running over the next six weeks.

Over the past two weeks, my hubby and I have been road tripping all over the Rockies and west. I've had a lot of time to think about things and really more about this marathon in October. I figured out that I am not doing this marathon for myself. I find it very hard to write this because I feel like I am letting other people down. I really can't be afraid of my readers judging me. This is something I need to do for myself at this time. I've talked to everyone close to me about my dilemma and they are all supportive of my decision to not run the Twin Cities marathon this fall. I feel like I have strayed too far away from my original goals.

There was a reason I started running and that was to lose weight. I've been running and I haven't been losing weight. Sure, I've gotten more toned and I actually look thinner, but all that weight is still pounding on my bones each time my feet hit the pavement. I am changing my goals for the near future. I am still going to be running, just not focusing on the training for a marathon. I hope to push that off just a year and do the race next fall instead.

So what do I do now? I get my hips fixed, track my food, eat healthy and whole, run shorter distances faster. I plan on training for the Minneapolis Duathlon. I am looking at doing the Iron Girl Duathlon again. There are so many more women I know doing it this year. And I will definitely be at the Twin Cities marathon to cheer on my friends that will be completing it this year without me. I appreciate everyone's support over the past many months of training. I plan on doing another half marathon possibly in the late fall if it is OK with my doctor.

I'll be posting in the future about my weight loss, eating whole, various recipes, and still running.

Lake Minnetonka Half Marathon Recap

Wow. I ran 13.1 miles two days ago! It actually feels quite longer than just two days.

I was really nervous in the days leading up to this race.  I had never run longer than 11 miles and even then, it was not all running. I was scared. I mean, I was really scared!

I spent all of the week leading up to the race reading up on how to fuel correctly for the race.  The weekend before, during my long run on Sunday, my legs froze up and I just didn't have the energy to make it to the end of the run. I actually had to have my hubby come pick me up from where I stopped. I didn't even have enough energy to walk the three blocks into the neighborhood. I was afraid of this happening at the race so I spent the week eating carbs and keeping track of my food. The scale didn't like my but my legs were happy, for the most part.

Also during this week, I had some pain in my left shin. I was worried that maybe I had injured myself during that long run on Sunday. It was just an achy pain that was persistently there and wouldn't go away. My run on Wednesday was to test out my leg to see if the pain stayed. It was hard the first mile but after that I was able to actually push myself. I felt no pain in this shin during the race. I was ecstatic!

Now getting back to the race.  The weather forecast was not looking good for Sunday morning. After dinner on Saturday night, I had a quiet night preparing for an early wake up call. I organized my things and was ready for the sky to be raining on me the whole way. That night, the thunder was loud and the rain was heavy. I was actually becoming worried that the race organizers would cancel the event due to the weather.  I thought I would have actually wished for it to be cancelled. But then I would have to find another half marathon to run in the following weeks. Thank goodness I didn't actually need to worry about this because as of 6am, the race was on and the rain was letting up for the day. Great! I had to change what I was wearing that morning.


My Mom and Dad took me down to Wayzata for the start of the race where we ran into my sister and my friend Becky. The clouds were actually starting to clear at this point and peeks of blue sky were seen. After a little bit of chit chatting and some hugs, I lined up with my pace group of 2hrs 30mins. My plan was to stay with the pace group as long as I could and would try to keep them in my line of site so that I could finish the race with a good time of under 3 hours. The pace group consisted of pretty much first timers and some walkers. Once we were let go, I was only able to stay with the pace group for maybe the first mile. They were actually keeping a much faster pace than what I had been training for and didn't want to tire myself too quickly. I decided quickly that I wasn't going to be forcing myself to finish this race in a certain time. I was really there just to finish the race!

The weather was humid and overall cloudy but the course is gorgeous. The route winds through very rich neighborhoods of Lake Minnetonka. Many of these houses are worth multi-millions and were nice to look at and dream about. The course was tree lined and not closed to traffic. I found myself bringing my biking terms into my running. When I yelled "Car Back" I got some strange looks from some of the runners ahead of me. Hey! I didn't want them to get run over by some lady in her Cadillac.

This race was really well supported. Being at the back of the race, I was worried that there wouldn't be any water left at the water stops. I really had nothing to worry about. There was plenty of water and Gatorade at each of the four stops. I took advantage of the stops for water and made sure I fueled at the same time. The fueling kept my legs from cramping. I only felt cramping once and I knew at that point I needed to take in more nutrients.

I had a great cheering section on my side. It was also great to see and hear total strangers sitting along the route to cheer us on. There was a group of kids at around mile 10 that were offering high fives to all us slow pokes at the back. It was uplifting. My cheering section consisted of my hubby, my mom and dad, my sister, my mother-in-law, and friends Christina and Becky. I got a nice ass slap from Becky right before the finish line and my sister ran with me the last mile.  Ann from Twelve-in-Twelve was at mile 11 like promised to push me through those last couple of miles. I knew I would need her there at that point because I was tired and I just made sure I pushed and ran right past her. She has been at two of my races now to cheer me on. I really hope to make it to one of her races to give the support right back.

I finished the race with a time of 2:46:57. My official times can be seen here.
Amy Albrecht @ Minnetonka Half Marathon 2012 | RaceDay
But the 10k time is not correct. I would say that timing mat was more at the 9 mile mark. (I thought it was the strangest place to put a timing mat.) I also have posted my Garmin information. I am really happy about the overall consistency of my splits.

I would recommend this race to anyone for a first half marathon. The course was gorgeous but was filled with rolling hills. The communication with race officials was good with the weather conditions. Parking was a little less than desirable since the Bay Center has been torn down and the parking lot was unavailable this year. I feel like this was my hometown race. It was nice seeing people I knew  and knowing the course.

I'm hoping to do another half marathon in the near future. I'm looking for one at the end of June or beginning of July.


So if you are contemplating a half marathon, I would say do it! It was challenging but so rewarding and worth all the training.

I'm Scared

I'm scared. I really am!  I finally gave in and registered for the Lake Minnetonka Half marathon next weekend. I know I don't have really any reason to be scared about this race. It's just a race just like any other race I've done this year. It's just so far!

I'm scared that I am doing this race all on my own! No one is running this race with me. Now, I understand I've done most of my training since my 10k by myself, but am I going to be able to keep myself motivated for 13.1 miles in 10 days?! I have no idea! I know I'll have my family there to cheer me on but it's not the same as having someone right next to me pushing me to keep going and to keep the pace up.

I'm scared about being so slow.  The part that scares me about this the most is that they are going to run out of water or Gatorade (or whatever) before I get to the water/aid stations. Then I'm just not going to make it through the race because I'll be so dehydrated. I dont know! I wasn't planning on running with my own water on this race. When I volunteered for Race for the Cure last year, the water station I was helping near ran out of water! What if that happens? That was only a 5k distance. I'm also scared they are going to start breaking down the finish line before I get there. How embarrassing!

I'm scared of the hills! Most of my running has been on the treadmill and trail running. The trails around here are pretty dang flat.  The only hill work I do is running up the hill in my neighborhood since my house is on the highest point in the area. Is that enough?! The reviews I see of this race say it has lots of rolling hills. Ugh! What have I gotten myself into?

I'm scared of not having my music with me when I run. I train with my iPhone but every race I've ever run I did not wear my headphones with music. I've been told to stay away from this anyway. So I plan on just enjoying nature and listening to my body and my feet hitting the pavement. 

I wish I was as confident as Ann! I know I've done the training. But some weeks, I didn't do all the training runs. Instead of 4 runs a week, I averaged 3 runs per week but always making sure I had gotten that long weekend run completed.  I am supposed to do a 12 mile run this weekend but then I looked at a half marathon training and they have it set up for 10 miles this weekend. Which one should I do? I think I would feel more confident knowing I could do 12 miles this weekend. AAAHHH!

I have a 3 mile run tomorrow after work and then my long run this weekend. I'm just going to keep plugging away at the miles and then I am going to get over being scared and just put one foot infront of the other. Let's see how I feel this time next week.

Terrible, Horrible, Not So Good Very Bad Week

How is that for a title? I've been thinking about doing this post most of the weekend but putting it off over and over. It's been a HORRIBLE week as far as half marathon training.  Oh well, and taking care of myself in general. It amazes me how the things I do hour-to-hour each day affects me greatly. I guess I never really realized it until I started living a better life. That is, better from when I was depressed that one summer.

There were things I didn't do this week that I had been doing consistently since I committed to the Twin Cities Marathon. Everything happened like a chain reaction. So I'll start with the thing that compromised my whole week. I was getting to bed after midnight! I'm old. I usually go to bed around ten or ten-thirty. I was staying up way past that. I have a book series I got overly addicted to reading to blame for that. Its just that good. But I was staying up too late which caused me to sleep in. Which would usually be fine because I don't have to go into work really early.

I struggled to get through the day. I was exhausted. I never eat well when I'm tired. I was too lazy to go to the grocery store to stock the fridge. (I still need to do this). So most of my lunches were eaten out. Actually I think all of them were. Because I ate like crap for lunch, I was so lethargic by the time six rolled around, I had no energy to go to the gym or go for a run outside. There was one good day for running. I ran three miles on Wednesday while my husband rode his bike. I was worried about running fast enough for him to keep his feet off the ground. I found because he was there to push me and to chat with me, I actually ran faster. The weather was glorious on Wednesday night. I ran the first mile at an 11 min pace, the second at 11:30 and the third was a bit slower at 12:49 (but hey, it's all uphill that last mile). I was thankful he pushed me out the door that day. 

After that Wednesday run, I didn't run the rest of the week. Work...the damn book, got in the way. Per the schedule, I was supposed to run 3-5-3-7 this week. Well, I only got the three completed for Wednesday and I struggled through four on Saturday. During that run on Saturday, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be able to do the 7 the following day. I had been contemplating moving my half marathon back a week. There is another race the following weekend in the Twin Cities that looked a little more...what could it be....a little more like a beginners race? I realized tonight while sitting down to dinner with Pat that I won't be able to do that. The Madison Symphony Orchestra is doing it's season finale with Gershwin. I could not miss this concert and was looking forward to it all year. So I couldn't let some fear of a 13.1 mile race take that away from me. I will be doing the Lake Minnetonka Half Marathon in two weeks even though I missed a whole week of training.

I'm scared. I'm feeling alot like my blogging friend Ann was feeling during her week 10 training for the Get in Gear Half coming up next weekend. GOODLUCK ANN!! I wish I could be there to cheer her on. I am completely apprehensive. After my 10k, I worry that the race will be horrible. I finished that race a ton slower than I expected. I fear being the last person to cross the finish line.

How to make up for last week? I have no idea. I don't want to work out extra to make up for it for fear of injuring myself. The plan this week calls for 3-6-3-12. Am I supposed to run that far the weekend before a race? If anyone can answer this, please let me know. The plan also doesnt give me any taper plan. Any ideas for that too? The following week says 3-6-3-race. Hmmmm.

I am going to read for an hour and then head to bed. I plan on getting up in the morning to log three miles. It starts with earlier to bed and then each day will be better. Tomorrow night, I plan to write about what I've learned since my 10k and how I hope to apply it to my half and hope it works better.

Weekend Long Run: 9 Miles

I was in the Twin Cities over last weekend for the Easter holiday.  I haven't been up there since Christmas so I figured it was about time to see my family and friends. As far as marathon training, I had a 9 mile run scheduled for the weekend. My sister approached me about doing a run on Saturday. I told her about the nine miles. She was a little worried because she hadn't been running much since November. (She's completed 2 Ironman races, so I knew she had nothing to worry about.)

We laid low on Friday night. My friend Christina came all the way to Saint Paul from Plymouth for just a couple of hours of hanging out, chatting, enjoying a glass of wine, and watching The League reruns on tv (I love this show now). Knowing that I had a long run the next morning, I was not going to go party too hard. Us old people went to bed by 11pm.

I slept amazing on my sisters new bed in her spare room! Thanks for the great guest bed! Saturday morning was a little grey and dreary. Perfect running weather right? After checking the weather, I wasn't really sure what to wear. I couldn't really tell if it was going to rain or not so I ended up in running capris, a long sleeve shirt and a jacket. My sister gave me a goody bag of all sorts of fun stuff from REI. There were running socks and all sorts of Gu products. She was amazing and bought me a pair of compression socks! I was surely going to use these after my run!

We chose a route along the Mississippi just south of the University of Minnesota campus. For those of you from the metro area, we did a loop from Ford Parkway to North on W. River Parkway. Then across the river over the Franklin St bridge and south on E River Parkway. It started sprinkling pretty early into the run. I should have expected that. I've run in the rain before and I actually find it somewhat enjoyable, as long as its not pouring.

My sister was encouraging through the time we were hitting the pavement. She was sure we were running a 10min/mile pace, which I was sure we weren't doing. I have issues maintaining that, especially outside. I really just kept going though. I know I ran the first 3 miles without stopping to walk...I lie. We did stop to stretch after mile one.  I felt pretty good until about 45 minutes into it. My sister was carrying water for both of us. She had some fancy powder mixed into the water. It was refreshing. She also was carrying some Gu Chomps to try out when we needed to refuel. They were delicious by the way and so much easier than the Gu Gel.

The last four miles were HARD! I was in a bad place mentally because I was frustrated at how tired I was feeling and how much I was slowing down. The rain wasn't helping me and I felt like I was holding my sister back. I was annoyed with how much I wanted to walk. It really took more urging by my sister and a few long moments of staring at the sky while I ran to get me past that moment of mental and physical block. It took maybe a mile worth of distance to get through it. And even then, when I got past that moment, I was still exhausted. I just wanted to stop and have someone come pick me up.

We walked one last time before running the last two miles. I figured at this point I should have fueled again or taken some more water.  I'll give that a try this coming weekend on my 10 mile run. Ugh! These last two miles were  felt insanely slow even though they really were only about 30 seconds slower per mile than the beginning of my run. I still finished though. My sister let me walk the last quarter mile back to her house. It was all uphill.  I am still thankful for her patience with me during this run.

I thought I would feel better on this run than I did. It worries me about whether or not I am going to be able to do 13.1 miles in less than 4 weeks. Everyone tells me I can do it so I'm going to keep chugging away at the mileage. I'll be doing the half marathon by myself. Boo!

I gave the compression socks a try after taking a shower. My legs were tight and sore but felt amazing the next day.

Like I said earlier, 10 mile run this weekend. Its supposed to be a rainy weekend again. I'll probably be taking the trail near my house in and out and back and I'll be running it alone. It will be interesting to see how my numbers look with such a distance and alone.

One Foot Infront of the Other

I ran 7 miles today! It wasn't all running but only walked 2 minutes at a time and I finished 3.1 miles in my fastest time ever! So yea, it was a good run. I went into this run not doing a long run day in two weeks. Two weeks ago is when I did 6 miles and had horrible blisters from my old shoes. I was disappointed in my time that day so I was actually nervous about this weeks 7 mile run. Next weeks 8 miles is now scaring me but I will just have to get over it.

My training this week was lacking by one day of running but I did get some bike time in. My running time last week was sooo hard. I just wasn't feeling it at all. I was just putting one foot in front of the other. Do you have days where it's just hard to stay moving forward?

Todays run just wasnt like that. Today's run went really well. I ate a bagel about an hour before my run and just kept plodding away on the treadmill. I was super excited about getting 3.1 miles done fast and I was shocked when 6 miles this week was faster than it was two weeks ago. So yea, today was one of those good days that makes me think 13.1 miles isn't that far fetched.

What Doesn't Kill You...

My past few workouts at the gym have been rough! I had a long 10k run last weekend that I was able to finish although it was slow and there was a lot of run/walk/run and then walk some more. But I finished it. Well that run caused a nasty blister on the inside of my arch on my left foot. I was wearing my old running shoes for this one because I hadn't broken in my new shoes yet. So the blister wasnt totally unexpected. Since deciding a week or so ago to run a marathon in October, I had change up my workout training from a 10k training to a marathon training program. So I kinda just merged one into the other. My 10k race isn't for another month but I will be six weeks into marathon training.  Anyway, that 10k run was on Sunday. I knew I needed to take atleast a day to recover and to let that blister heal. So I pulled on my running shoes on Tuesday morning before work and tried to get some mileage on the treadmill. I was scheduled for 3 miles but could only squeeze out barely two because, dang, my foot hurt. I knew it was time to buy new running socks.

I didn't run or do any sort of working out until Friday after work. I was disappointed in myself but I knew I just need to let my foot heal or else I was going to pay for it in the end. Thursday night I went to REI to pick up some running socks. The Smart Wool PhD socks were the ones that were recommended to me so I bought a couple of pairs. I wore them on Friday's 4 mile run and I dont think there was any additional irritation on my blister. It actually looks like it is healing really well. I need tougher feet!

Friday's run was hard! It was four miles, which isn't daunting anymore but I just knew it would be hard. It was the end of a long week. I decided to hit the gym after work, figuring it wouldn't be all that busy because it was a Friday. The place was packed and I was shocked! I found myself a treadmill, laced up my new shoes and hit start on my watch. As I was warming up, I happened to glance at the machine next to me. (Don't we all do this at some point to see how we compare?) The girl next to me had 10 miles logs on her machine although I'm sure she hadnt actually run those 10 miles because she kept jumping off the belt and then back on every thirty seconds or so. It was a little annoying but I was amazed that she was running at the clip she was.

After about a mile of my own running, my legs just hurt so bad! My calves were tight and my ankles weren't flexing like they were supposed to. It was a flash back to when I first started running, when my shin splits were so rough that I couldnt flex my legs. I didn't want to be back there. It was painful! So I slowed down to a walk and then stopped to stretch some. I felt better after that. While I was trying to loosen my muscles, I got to thinking about my eating this week and how crappy it had been. Could my food consumption be why I was feeling like so much crap? Probably. I starting thinking about the changes I needed to make as far as food.

I noticed it on Saturday during the Body Flow class I took that morning. I wasnt able to hold the posses as long and my muscles were shaking. Ugh! I hate that feeling! I was feeling especially weak.

I'm not sure if I am going to get my long run in this weekend. I was thinking about possibly just getting in a really long ride on the trainer, around 25-30 miles? It would feel so good. It's hard to look outside at the white and feel that arctic air and imagine warm days of cycling and running.

On my way home from the gym on Saturday morning, I heard this Kelly Clarkson song on my radio and I couldn't keep myself from dancing in my seat. I know that the song is about a boy, as it usually is, but I felt like it made my mood better for the day. And actually inspired me to sit down on my computer and type out a couple of entries. This is being added to my iPod running list and will be played over and over again.

Btw, I'm running a Marathon

***Caution, there are some naughty words in this post.***

Did I tell you I'm running a marathon? I don't believe I did. This has been a post that has been coming I just haven't found the motivation to sit down and write it. But today is a good day so you're getting the news today. MY GOD I'M RUNNING A MARATHON! I am completely freaking out.

The date is October 7th, 2012. After my post about my 2012 events there was some questions as to why I just don't participate in a full marathon this year. Well, I had a whole list of excuses. There was the one about only running a 5k so far. There was the one about being too fat. There was the one about having other races planned for the year. I hadn't even ran a half marathon. How was I going to be able to run a full 26.2 miles in 9 months!? Thank you to Christian at The Maple Grove Barefoot Guy for being the first one to suggest I do something that scares the shit out of me. I didn't like a post he put on his Facebook page a couple of weeks ago. And quote "I'm enjoying seeing my friends attempt crazy awesome things they didn't think they could do. For the rest of you, your excuses and "I can't do it" attitude is annoying. Harden the fuck up. That is all..." I'm sure I'm not the only one this was directed to. Atleast I hope I'm not. (Christian and I went to high school together. He was two years older than me and a much better clarinet player. Please go check out his blog. It's witty and extremely informative, even if you are not a barefoot runner).

His comment really got me thinking, a lot, about what I'm doing here. Last fall's duathlon was a challenge but I knew, when I signed up for it, that I was a strong biker and the running was a doable distance. I knew I could do it.  A marathon on the other hand, I have no idea if I can do it. I'd like to think I can. I actually know I can do it. It's just getting over the self doubt that sit quietly in the back of my brain, ready to jump out at me when I have a bad day or when the running is just too hard. If I put my mind to it, I can do anything right?

The craving to be successful and cross the finish line is so strong it brings me to tears if I think about it too much. I know there are people that support me to that final moment. I need to rally these people around me. My family and my husband are behind me. My closest friends, my blogging friends especially Anne at Twelve-in-Twelve who will also be running this event, her first marathon as well. Read about her commitment here.  It's the people that doubt me that I need to let go of. I know people will judge me. I often think that they think I am too fat to run 26.2 miles and that I will never make it. I'm really not going to let this get to me because I don't see THEM getting up at 5am to run in the morning before work!

What are you doing this year that scares the shit out of you?

So here I am. Marathoner in training!

It's Been Worth It

When I was searching my brain for something to write about today, I kept coming back to the changes that I have experienced over the past year and a half. I know I've written about this before but I am still in awe of things that are so much different.

The change that keeps coming to me is how much better I feel when I run and how much further and faster I can accomplish that feat. I think back to when I first started running how much it really hurt. At the very beginning, even three years ago when I was running in the snow with Anne, I remember coming back home feeling exhausted! I usually wasn't running more than a mile or two and it was probably more walking than running. I remember one particular night, getting in my car after a workout, I was actually dizzy and had to sit in my car before starting it for just a little while until I got my bearings back.  I have felt the dizziness since then but its been rare.

I remember how bad my shin splints were. I remember having to stop and stretch because my feet just wouldn't flex. My shins were just too tight and it just hurt too much. But I stuck with it.

I don't know when I pushed past that because it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Now I have more mental barriers versus physical barriers. Those barriers are still there but to a lesser degree. Maybe it's just because I'm more confident? I know I can achieve any distance I put my mind too. It may take some training and pushing but I've learned it's so worth it!

If my body has made this much in changes in the past two or three years, where will I be in another two or three years? Where will I be in a year? Where will I be if when I get my weight down? How much easier will it be? These are all questions I have to think about. If I keep pushing, I know I will feel better. So why not keep pushing and striving for goals?

Tomorrow I will fill you in on my goals for the year.

I Fought for 5k!

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning to a clean house, a huge amount of food in the fridge, and the wind blowing against the siding. That wind was telling me it was too cold outside to get out from under my covers, it was too cold to pull on my work out gear and get ready for the 5k I had committed to over a month earlier. I just wanted to stay under the sheets, cuddle with my husband, and dream about the upcoming Thanksgiving meal that was going to emerge from my oven. I even asked my husband if he wanted to skip out on the event. I can't believe I did that! As I stared at the ceiling, trying to talk myself out of the bed, I began to think about everyone else that was going out into the cold air and running or walking a 5k that morning. There were my parents, my sister, and the majority of the Pack. If they were braving the weather, then I could too.

After the stuffing was in the crockpots for my first attempt at hosting Thanksgiving dinner, I climbed the stairs to put on my warm clothing. I made sure to check the weather before I decided what to wear. It was windy and the air was was damp and cold. Hubby and I climbed into the car and started on our way to the Berbee Derby. I couldn't understand why he was trying to push me out the door nearly an hour before our race start. Once we got there, I was glad he did. The place was already swarming with cars! We decided to park about a half mile from the event start line so we would have an easy get away at the end of the race. I would have to say there were atleast 3000 participants between the 10k and the 5k race. I like these bigger races because I can blend in with the crowd and there are sure to be people in that crowd that I am faster than. It gives me a confidence boost.

Berbee Derby 2011

At the beginning of the race I thought that I was going to stick by my hubby the whole time because he was being a dear to participate in the event with him. But then again, I also wanted to see how hard I could push myself and see how far I could go. We placed ourselves in the last wave just ahead of the 5k walkers. In the end, it was the right place to put myself. Hubby ran with me for the whole first mile and then he started to walk. I asked if it was ok if I kept going and he said it was. So, I just kept going. Coming around one of the turns I noticed a big hill ahead. I briefly thought that the hill was going to suck and I was going to let myself walk it. But then I thought back to when I was running earlier in the summer and when I proclaimed that I loved running hills because conquering them made me feel strong! I took that hill, and the next two without stopping to walk. I also took each subsequent down hill quickly. I heard a dad telling his daughter to just let the down hill push her, to let gravity work with her legs and to not push against it. I took his advice and just sailed down the hills.

I fought through the mental battle of wanting to stop to walk. Thing I have read kept working through my mind. "You can do anything for five minutes" kept really sticking with me. My foot went numb, I just kept going. I sprinted at the end. I did! It felt good to put all my energy into going all out the last few meters. I finished and I didnt stop to walk. I fought for it! Hubby finished 5 minutes after I did. It wasn't my best time but I'm ok with that.

A Look Back

A Look Back

As I continue to look forward to my race on Sunday, I have also taken some time to look back on the
last year since committing to this event. In some ways, I never thought I would be where I am but in
other ways, I thought I would have been further in my journey.

A year ago, the thought of running made me sick. I knew I had never been a strong runner and was not looking forward to recommitting to shin splints, side aches, and numb feet. I remember when I had to run the mile in Jr. High in under 11minutes, I walked about half of that mile. I probably could run the mile when I was in high school, right at the end of ski season when I was taking my gym course in the spring. I was passing people and it felt great! I wanted to embrace that feeling again. It was one of those nonessential high school moments that I will never forget. I started out slow. My goal was to run a mile without having to stop to walk.

So I just started running. I was walking mostly and running a little bit here and there. I had no set
schedule and no watch. I would just run as long as I could without stopping to walk or rest. I would
watch the time on my iPod. I wouldn’t go all that long, maybe 20 seconds and then I would walk until I felt like I had my breath back, then I would jog again for a few seconds. I thought I was going to be able to run a 5k by Thanksgiving. I didn’t quite make it.

I started keeping track of my progress on Dailymile. It was great to have a place to see how much I was improving. It also helped with my motivation. I was working out after work, before I had the chance to go home and sit down on the couch. I did this in the late afternoon light and in the dark after daylight savings time. I did it until it got really cold, when I stopped for 2 months.

I wish I could say that it was the cold air that made me stop working towards running. In reality, it
was actually a compliment about how much more toned I was looking since I had started working out. Instead of keeping the hard work up, I just stopped. I wish I could explain what was going through my mind when I decided to just stop working out because I had one compliment. I would think it would work in reverse and actually push me to go harder to get even better results. But it didn’t. I thought that because I was looking thinner, I could just take a break from exercising so I did.

Into March, I decided enough was enough and I needed to get my butt out the door. I didn’t belong to
a gym so I made sure I bundled up before I headed out into the cold. I wasn’t exercising many times
a week but I was still doing it right after work before I went home for the day. I started out again not
doing any running plan. I was jogging a block or so and stopping to walk and then jogging another
block.

In early April, I joined a group of bloggers online. We committed to doing a 5k on Memorial Day in the Twin Cities. I was nervous and excited at the same time. I was never one to put myself into a situation where I didn’t know anyone. I’ve written about that before. When I started really getting a goal in front of me is when I started training using Couch to 5k. It is an excellent program and I would recommend it to anyone. I ran that 5k in 40 minutes. I was so happy! I had ran 7 minutes without stopping. That was the longest I had gone without walking and I was so happy! 

I had my second 5k race two weeks later. I ran that one a full minute faster at 39 minutes. I was happy about that one too. I still hadn't been able to run more than five minutes at a time. I knew I had a lot of training ahead of me for the rest of the summer. I was hopeful that it wouldn't get too hot. I didn't have another opportunity to run a 5k until Labor Day. I ran that one in 38 minutes. I'm getting faster but I feel like I should be progressing faster than what I am. But overall, i'm pretty happy about my progress.

I just read the athlete guide for my race. I was aware of a time limit on the bike portion of the race (2.5 hours) but I was not aware of a time limit on the run (26 mins for 2 miles). I guess I'm not really worried about the first 2 miles but I am really worried about the second set of 2 miles after I finish my ride. The last time I did a brick workout, my shins tightened up and I could barely walk. So, now im worried because I typically run just under a 13 minute mile when my legs are feeling good. I hope hope hope I dont get pushed off the race!

Tomorrow I will talk about the goals I thought I would have achieved by now.

Safe Harbor Labor Day 5k

Yesterday I ran the Safe Harbor Labor Day 5k in Madison. The money went to benefit Safe Harbor Child Advocacy Center. It's an organization that I had heard little about. Really I was just looking for a Labor Day 5k to compare to my Memorial Day Challenge Hearts and Minds 5k. That race I finished right at 40 minutes. My goal for this race was to finish faster than that. I finished at 38:36! It wasn't as fast as I had hoped but it was still reaching my goal AND I ran most of it. I would say I didn't walk anymore than 5 minutes during the whole race.

My husband joined me on this race as well as my good friend Kinsey and her husband Keith, he did the 10k race. They have all been a great support and Kinsey crossed the finish line by my side. I definitely ran faster than her but she would keep running when I would stop to walk. Each time she caught up to me, I would make sure to get up and run again so I could mostly stay ahead of her. I had never run further than 2 miles without stopping. I was unable to go that far without stopping yesterday. The course was hilly and I wasn't prepared for that. Overall I felt pretty good. I really wish I would have been able to run the whole thing! Looking back on it, I could have worked through those moments when my shin splints hurt or the side ache under my ribs. I should have been able to work through those! I just kept telling myself it was mental and I could get through this.

There was a father/daughter duo in front of me, well they passed me at one point where I was walking. I kept up with them for a while and could hear bits and pieces of their conversation. Dad was definitely a better runner than the daughter but it was so beautiful to hear him encouraging her to keep working through the urge to stop to walk. She was talking to him about things that were unrelated to that moment and he told her that it wasn't important to worry about, that she should just concentrate on what she was doing, to keep the pace, and just keep moving. I wondered what my dad would say to me in that same situation?

The last mile of the run was hellish long! But atleast it was flat, unlike most of the route. Kinsey and I finished it out together, for the most part. This was when the mental fatigue was kicking in. I knew I was pretty good up to the two mile mark because I had done that before. I was unsure about that last mile. I found myself telling my self that I had gotten through the first two miles and that I could do that one last mile! I couldn't feel my left food and my shins hurt...a lot! But I just kept putting one foot infront of the other foot, over and over and over again. That was all I had to do to get to the end. Once I saw the finish line, I did put a little bit more effort into it, just to shave off a second or two from my time. I'm proud of my 38:36 as I should be! 

This coming weekend I get to cheer my little sister on while she competes in her second Ironman Wisconsin! I'm extremely excited and nervous for her. I'm excited about watching her come out of the lake water and getting on her bike, I'm excited about her insanely fast biking through Verona... Twice! I get to ring my cow bell through the streets of downtown Madison while she runs a full marathon. I am nervous about the weather! The last time she did this race in 2006, it was cold and it rained all....day....long! It did not make for great racing and it definitely did not make for great race watching. I've been watching the weather since September 11th first started showing up on the 10 day forecast. As of right now, the low is 54 and the high is 77 and the sky is supposed to be sunny! Please pray that she has some great weather for her second Ironman!

1.85 Miles!

I was struggling tonight to find the motivation to write. This seems to be common occurrence lately. Maybe because I have been so busy at work I just don't want to come home to sit down to a computer.

I had a non-scale victory today, which is good because the scale has been brutal to me over the past couple of weeks (I've gained 4 pounds). I woke up this morning, dragging myself from the bed because it was still dark at 5:30am. I always make sure I look out  the bedroom window to check for rain cuz if its raining, I am going to crawl back into bed. To my luck, there was no rain and the sky was a bright but deep red from the soon to be rising sun. With half shut eyes, I pulled on my workout clothes and brushed my hair up into a ponytail. I opened my eyes wide enough to put in my contacts and headed downstairs.

The weather guy from NBC15, David George, told me last night *via the tv* that there was a strong change of thunderstorms this morning. So I had to make a point to check the radar for rain before I left. There it was, a huge swath of thunderstorms about 20 miles west of my house. I was pretty sure I could get a 30 minute workout done before it would start raining, atleast I was hopeful. So I turned on my iPod and walked out the door. I could see the sky was kind of dark to the west but it wasn't threatening.

I hadn't run since Friday so I knew I would be able to push myself a little bit but because of the impending rain, I would have to do a shorter route than what I had been doing lately. I picked the 2.3 mi route, downhill the whole way out and uphill the whole way back in. Sometimes it annoys me that we live on the highest point in the neighborhood, just saying. I did my usual 5 minute warm up walk and starting jogging. I jog/run really really slow. But I just kept going. I was aiming to go 15 minutes without stopping. I was really hopeful I would be able to go longer than that but I didn't want to set my sights too high. At my usual turn around point, I decided to take a left and ran up the hill a little bit, just long enough to catch a bolt of lightening hit the ground to the west. That was just enough to make me decide I needed to start heading back to the house.

A little side note here. For those of you that knew me when I was younger, thunderstorms freaked me out! I was so scared of storms, I used to make my friends' parents drive me home in the middle of the night if there was a storm because my bedroom was the only safe place in the case of lightning and thunder. I know I was pretty lame. I used to hide under my covers of my bed during the heat of the summer because I thought that if I was under the blankets the lightning couldn't get to me.  I've gotten a lot better, I actually enjoy the sound of thunder as long as it is not associated with rotating wall clouds. So me being outside during an impending thunderstorm with lightning is a huge thing for me.

I want to say thank you to the bug that flew down my open mouth right after I turned around. It was at that point in my throat that caused me to instinctively swallow. So swallow I did, until it got stuck and caused me to cough, hard! But I kept running. Hack hack..no bug. So I swallowed again. I have no idea what was in my stomach the rest of the day. I hope it died quickly. I wanted to stop running and walk up the hill leading into my neighborhood. Trust me, this is not much of a hill and more of a casual grade. But I kept going. I rounded the corner into my neighborhood where it flattens out for  just a little bit. My legs felt good, my lungs did not. But I just kept going. I didn't let myself eye the next mailbox and say "I will run until that mailbox and then walk". I just kept looking onto the next corner. Looking at my watch, I was past the 15 minute mark. I was going to keep going.

The next time I looked at my watch, it was 2.5 minutes later at 17:30. My mind was fighting with me. I really wanted to walk so I slowed down my already snail pace. I knew I could probably walk faster than I was running. The next time I looked at my watch, I only had 90 more seconds to make it to 20 minutes of straight running. I could do 90 seconds! It was really the longest 90 seconds of my life! It was like I was looking at my watch every 10 seconds. I really pushed myself during the last 30 seconds. I'm sure my neighbors thought I was crazy talking out loud telling myself to just keep going. I counted the last 10 seconds to myself, probably a bit faster than what my watch was telling me. I DID IT! I ran 20 minutes without stopping. It was time to walk.

I finished the rest of the route with another minute of running and a few minutes of walking to cool down. It just started to barely sprinkle when I walked up my driveway. The thunder was getting pretty loud at that point. Maybe a little thrill of fear ran through me before I brushed it off.

I mapped out my distance for my 20 minute run and it came out to 1.85 miles! Go me! I ran my first mile only a couple of weeks ago. This is huge for me!

I Did It!

I ran a mile!

I don't know why I couldn't seem to find the time last week to write about my big accomplishment. Can you guess what I did?...I finally ran a mile without stopping! Oh the simple things in life. I ran 1.06 miles in just under 13 minutes and I am extremely proud of myself. I was slightly disappointed with my total time originally because I had been injured the week before but a friend pointed out that I ran a mile. I really didn't believe her until I actually mapped it out. I mean it didn't feel like a mile...well...actually it did. I was struggling and my legs hurt, and my back hurt.

I've really come to believe that this is all a mental game. My body feels so much better than it did a year ago. Now I am just trying to get through the mental negative talk while I run. "I can't go any further, I can't do this, this sucks, its hot out here, there's sweat in my eyes!" Those are just some of the things that run through my mind while my feet are hitting the pavement. Lately, I have been able to work through those negative thoughts with the idea that I am most likely not going to pass out. The shin splints are gone and my knee feels a little better. I know I just have to keep running.

This morning, I went for another run. After my five minute warm up walk, I started running and just kept going! I felt good! My knee didn't hurt at all! When I got home and mapped out how far I had run, I ran for 15 minutes straight for 1.5 miles! That is a new record for me. I'm sure I was able to run that far in high school but since I started really running last fall, that's the best I've done and I'm proud! I enjoyed the run enough this morning to look at how the fog settled on the corn fields around my house. I actually wish I had a camera with me to capture the moment the sun rose over the trees and the fog caught the beams of light. But I just kept running. I ran half of my 5k goal! I ran more than half of the 2mi distance I need to be able to run by September! Yay!

I also had a good food day today. I will write about the event I went to this weekend. It was so motivational and inspiring and well worth the trip to Minneapolis.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their pushing and supporting me. It really does help a lot!

48 days until my race! Eeek!