I'm plunking out a really quick post this morning so I dont cause myself to be late for work.
I don't feel good. I've let myself go. I've lost focus. My jeans are getting tighter again....I've gained five pounds in a month and I sure can feel it! I'm not stupid. I know I've been eating more than I've been working out.
As I find that the hot summer months are coming to an end (not that this is really true as I look at the weather forecast for the next couple of days including a heat advisory for our area), I look forward to the cool crisp days of autumn that feel good on my skin and start out a little bit chilly. I look forward to the leaves changing and beautifying my yard. I look forward to freshness that spring often brings for most people. But really, the weather is not an excuse.
My real excuse, which isnt really an excuse but more just a reason, is that I've become lazy! Lazy in everything. Lazy in grocery shopping, lazy in preparing food for lunches and opting for going out for lunch instead, lazy in preparing for my upcoming IronGirl Du in less than four weeks, lazy in getting yard work done, lazy in keeping my house clean. Lazy, lazy, lazy and some more lazy.
As others in my blogging community are renewing their commitments to a healthy lifestyle, I've decided to do the same. I will be laying out a plan over the next day or so and be setting some goals and what steps i need to do to get to those goals.
Thanks
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Tough Decision
I really haven't been around much here for multiple reasons. After my big half marathon race at the beginning of the month of May, I stayed away from blogging for a little while. Maybe I just needed a break. The night after that race, I had some severe pain right above my pubic bone. I had experienced this same pain after each of my training runs that were longer than eight miles. I figured it was just an overuse injury and that I could get passed just like all my other random aches from when I started running. This was different. It just kept getting worse the longer the mileage got. When I was asked to rate this pain by the doctor, I put it up at about an 8. It was very very painful. She diagnosed it as a problem with my Sacroiliac Joint (SI) in my lower back.
She gave me a referral to PT and asked that I make an appointment and told me not to run until my appointment. I listened to her for the most part except I wasn't have any pain anymore. So the day before my PT appointment, I did run, only four miles but I did run and I did have pain. Well, there wasn't really pain while I was running but more of an overall weakness. When I met with the physical therapist, she measured and looked at my hips and my back. She literally pulled on my left leg. She moved and stretched me and pulled my leg again. I felt like bliss when I walked out of there. She agreed with my primary. My left hip sits a little higher than my right hip which causes the misalignment in my back which causes the pain over my pubic bone. She wants to see me for 8 weekly appointments. She doesn't want me to do any exercising that hurts and recommends I don't do any long running for the first four to six weeks of our appointments. This made me really have to think about my marathon training.
From today, I am 16 weeks out from the race. This is plenty of time to train for a marathon. If I take out the six weeks maximum she said it would take to fix me with various exercises and strengthening, that puts me at 10 weeks but with minimal running over the next six weeks.
Over the past two weeks, my hubby and I have been road tripping all over the Rockies and west. I've had a lot of time to think about things and really more about this marathon in October. I figured out that I am not doing this marathon for myself. I find it very hard to write this because I feel like I am letting other people down. I really can't be afraid of my readers judging me. This is something I need to do for myself at this time. I've talked to everyone close to me about my dilemma and they are all supportive of my decision to not run the Twin Cities marathon this fall. I feel like I have strayed too far away from my original goals.
There was a reason I started running and that was to lose weight. I've been running and I haven't been losing weight. Sure, I've gotten more toned and I actually look thinner, but all that weight is still pounding on my bones each time my feet hit the pavement. I am changing my goals for the near future. I am still going to be running, just not focusing on the training for a marathon. I hope to push that off just a year and do the race next fall instead.
So what do I do now? I get my hips fixed, track my food, eat healthy and whole, run shorter distances faster. I plan on training for the Minneapolis Duathlon. I am looking at doing the Iron Girl Duathlon again. There are so many more women I know doing it this year. And I will definitely be at the Twin Cities marathon to cheer on my friends that will be completing it this year without me. I appreciate everyone's support over the past many months of training. I plan on doing another half marathon possibly in the late fall if it is OK with my doctor.
I'll be posting in the future about my weight loss, eating whole, various recipes, and still running.
She gave me a referral to PT and asked that I make an appointment and told me not to run until my appointment. I listened to her for the most part except I wasn't have any pain anymore. So the day before my PT appointment, I did run, only four miles but I did run and I did have pain. Well, there wasn't really pain while I was running but more of an overall weakness. When I met with the physical therapist, she measured and looked at my hips and my back. She literally pulled on my left leg. She moved and stretched me and pulled my leg again. I felt like bliss when I walked out of there. She agreed with my primary. My left hip sits a little higher than my right hip which causes the misalignment in my back which causes the pain over my pubic bone. She wants to see me for 8 weekly appointments. She doesn't want me to do any exercising that hurts and recommends I don't do any long running for the first four to six weeks of our appointments. This made me really have to think about my marathon training.
From today, I am 16 weeks out from the race. This is plenty of time to train for a marathon. If I take out the six weeks maximum she said it would take to fix me with various exercises and strengthening, that puts me at 10 weeks but with minimal running over the next six weeks.
Over the past two weeks, my hubby and I have been road tripping all over the Rockies and west. I've had a lot of time to think about things and really more about this marathon in October. I figured out that I am not doing this marathon for myself. I find it very hard to write this because I feel like I am letting other people down. I really can't be afraid of my readers judging me. This is something I need to do for myself at this time. I've talked to everyone close to me about my dilemma and they are all supportive of my decision to not run the Twin Cities marathon this fall. I feel like I have strayed too far away from my original goals.
There was a reason I started running and that was to lose weight. I've been running and I haven't been losing weight. Sure, I've gotten more toned and I actually look thinner, but all that weight is still pounding on my bones each time my feet hit the pavement. I am changing my goals for the near future. I am still going to be running, just not focusing on the training for a marathon. I hope to push that off just a year and do the race next fall instead.
So what do I do now? I get my hips fixed, track my food, eat healthy and whole, run shorter distances faster. I plan on training for the Minneapolis Duathlon. I am looking at doing the Iron Girl Duathlon again. There are so many more women I know doing it this year. And I will definitely be at the Twin Cities marathon to cheer on my friends that will be completing it this year without me. I appreciate everyone's support over the past many months of training. I plan on doing another half marathon possibly in the late fall if it is OK with my doctor.
I'll be posting in the future about my weight loss, eating whole, various recipes, and still running.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I Just Want to Scream!!
Sometimes I just want to scream...
Sometimes I just want to scream in frustration at my choices! I want to scream about the horrible choices I've been making! I want to scream about the binging! I want to scream about the majority of my time outside of work being spent on the couch! I want to scream that it's cold outside and I can't go for a run! I want to scream when I don't update my blog!
And sometimes I just want to cry about it...
I want to cry to make myself feel better. I want to cry about how much I'm failing. I want to cry when I dont work out and it's bed time. I want to cry when I watch the scale move up or stand still. I want to cry when I feel alone in this. I want to cry after I binge. I want to cry when I realize I'm in denial.
I scream. I cry. I pick myself back up. I dream.
Sometimes I just want to scream in frustration at my choices! I want to scream about the horrible choices I've been making! I want to scream about the binging! I want to scream about the majority of my time outside of work being spent on the couch! I want to scream that it's cold outside and I can't go for a run! I want to scream when I don't update my blog!
And sometimes I just want to cry about it...
I want to cry to make myself feel better. I want to cry about how much I'm failing. I want to cry when I dont work out and it's bed time. I want to cry when I watch the scale move up or stand still. I want to cry when I feel alone in this. I want to cry after I binge. I want to cry when I realize I'm in denial.
And sometimes I just need to pick myself back up...
I worked out tonight...aerobic for 30 minutes and then Yoga for 40 minutes. I sat down and made monthly calendars for the rest of the year. I crossed today off the calendar as a work out day! I ate a somewhat healthy dinner. I conquered eating carrots without ranch dressing. I am updating my blog.
And sometimes I dream...
I dream about the day I can complete the burpees on the Wii.
I dream about the day I can go down a pants size. I dream about not being addicted to fast food. I dream about completing my race! I dream about getting up early so I can work out before work.I scream. I cry. I pick myself back up. I dream.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
10 Year Reunion
My mom insists that I have to do another post because she "has nothing to read". So here is the post as promised.
My 10 year high school reunion is coming up on Saturday. It was decided to do the party on the Saturday after Thanksgiving because it was a time when classmates would be home. We are gathering at Solera in downtown Minneapolis for drinks, appetizers and lots of chatting (I'm sure). This will be my first reunion since my class decided to not have a 5 year reunion.
Let me tell you a bit about my class. I graduated from Wayzata High School in 2000 with 600 other students. Most of us were heading off to a college for a 2 or 4-year degree, some were working, some were going to the military, and some didn't have any clue what they wanted to do. Graduation was held on the University of Minnesota campus and an all night party commenced back at the high school. I was horribly sick but wouldn't miss graduation or the party for anything, even though my boyfriend at the time and best friend opted out. Only about 80 of those 600 are showing.
I look back at high school...and I don't miss much of it. I miss the band parts the most. I regret some of the petty sh*t that happened during those years and some of it, I wish I could take back. I'm hoping some of that stuff is just crap that people have decided was just insignificant. I am hoping that most of the cliquey (is that a word) stuff is gone. I am looking forward to seeing people that I didn't talk to much during those years but that I have come to found are great people. There are the old friends that are coming that I am beyond excited to see, although I wish more of them were attending. And looking at the RSVP list, there are people I do not wish to see that are attending, although few. I will just be polite. I am happy that Pat graduated with me so I will be dragging him with me.
Sure, I wanted to look hot for this party. I wanted to lose all the weight I had gained since high school. I wanted to be accomplished, successful. BUT WHO CARES!? If someone is going to be judgmental of me, so be it. That's their problem that they feel the need to have to judge others to feel better. I made the decision a few months ago to only worry about myself. I plan on buying a new outfit and look stylish in this body.
The past ten years have been different for all of us. Some people have found their ideal careers, some haven't. Some classmates are doing something different then what they dreamed of when they are younger but they are still happy. Some classmates are single, married, divorced, bi, gay and lesbian. Some have kids, some don't. I'm just excited to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in a while. In the days of Facebook and social networking I do know a lot about some of these classmates but I don't think it's the same as seeing them in person.
Overall, I'm looking forward to this reunion! See you all on Saturday!
My 10 year high school reunion is coming up on Saturday. It was decided to do the party on the Saturday after Thanksgiving because it was a time when classmates would be home. We are gathering at Solera in downtown Minneapolis for drinks, appetizers and lots of chatting (I'm sure). This will be my first reunion since my class decided to not have a 5 year reunion.
Let me tell you a bit about my class. I graduated from Wayzata High School in 2000 with 600 other students. Most of us were heading off to a college for a 2 or 4-year degree, some were working, some were going to the military, and some didn't have any clue what they wanted to do. Graduation was held on the University of Minnesota campus and an all night party commenced back at the high school. I was horribly sick but wouldn't miss graduation or the party for anything, even though my boyfriend at the time and best friend opted out. Only about 80 of those 600 are showing.
I look back at high school...and I don't miss much of it. I miss the band parts the most. I regret some of the petty sh*t that happened during those years and some of it, I wish I could take back. I'm hoping some of that stuff is just crap that people have decided was just insignificant. I am hoping that most of the cliquey (is that a word) stuff is gone. I am looking forward to seeing people that I didn't talk to much during those years but that I have come to found are great people. There are the old friends that are coming that I am beyond excited to see, although I wish more of them were attending. And looking at the RSVP list, there are people I do not wish to see that are attending, although few. I will just be polite. I am happy that Pat graduated with me so I will be dragging him with me.
Sure, I wanted to look hot for this party. I wanted to lose all the weight I had gained since high school. I wanted to be accomplished, successful. BUT WHO CARES!? If someone is going to be judgmental of me, so be it. That's their problem that they feel the need to have to judge others to feel better. I made the decision a few months ago to only worry about myself. I plan on buying a new outfit and look stylish in this body.
The past ten years have been different for all of us. Some people have found their ideal careers, some haven't. Some classmates are doing something different then what they dreamed of when they are younger but they are still happy. Some classmates are single, married, divorced, bi, gay and lesbian. Some have kids, some don't. I'm just excited to catch up with people that I haven't talked to in a while. In the days of Facebook and social networking I do know a lot about some of these classmates but I don't think it's the same as seeing them in person.
Overall, I'm looking forward to this reunion! See you all on Saturday!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Blog Purpose
This new blog has a purpose. This purpose was inspired in part by Donna of The Year of Living Healthfully and A Quiet Life.
I'm committing myself to a new path in life.
The past few months since Pat and I moved into our new house I'll admit that I haven't been myself. I've been in the dumps emotionally and physically. Summer is supposed to be a time of activity and joy. My summer was spent inside on the couch while my husband enjoyed the weather outside, I'm sure frustrated that I wasn't joining him in the constant yard work. I hated this summer. It was hot, it was humid and there were lots of mosquitoes. So there I sat, on the couch, in front of the wide screen tv, wearing a dent in the cushions, my jeans getting tighter as the days went on. There were some good times like the actual moving in to the new house and our summer celebration with friends and family around the 4th of July but more of the time I think I was depressed.
As the somewhat chilly weather of Autumn has moved into southern Wisconsin, I have started to feel my brain start to clear. I've discovered that I hate feeling like I am just existing in this life of mine. I'm 28 years old and married to a wonderful man...and I'm just existing. I feel like I'm missing something. I'm not sure what it is but it's time to find that thing or those things I am missing.
I am one of those 20-somethings that didn't discover in college what I wanted to do with my life. I work at a bank, I like it for now so I don't think what I'm missing is a career. A career doesn't always make a person and I definitely am not the type that is defined by a career, or it is that I don't want to be.
I'm overweight. I hate to say it but I am and I have been since the day I graduated from high school. Who ever heard of the Freshman 15...oh and the Sophomore 15, and Junior...maybe Senior 15 too? Every time I've had a major change in my life, I've gained weight. There is one exception, and that was my wedding. I was not happy with how I felt in my wedding dress so I lost about 15 lbs after my wedding and I kept it off for a year and a half. I gained back that weight this summer, the summer of the couch. Ultimate weight loss goal, 60 lbs from where I am this day.
I need to find some extracurricular things to do besides get up in the morning, go to work, come home from work, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I thought the sorority alumnae group would work for me. I haven't quite decided on that outcome yet.
So, what is the purpose of this new blog "destroying dead ends"? It's just that. I'm not going to let there be dead ends in my life anymore. I'm going to conquer those scary and nervous moments that don't let me move on, the ones that keep me from getting off the couch and make the change. Those dead end moments when I get home from work and think I am just too tired to go for a walk. Those dead ends when I want to eat half a pizza and then regret it after I swallow my last bite.
I don't quite know the details of how I'm going to do it yet. I have set myself some mental but more physical challenges over the next year. I am going to be doing the Lifetime Fitness Turkey Day 5k again this year, but the plan is to jog the whole distance. I also plan on the Krazy Legs 8k in the spring in Madison. The ultimate goal is the Iron Girl Duathlon a year from today. Some of these are large goals but I am sure that I can do it.
New running shoes were purchased yesterday in Minnetonka, a gift from my mother. I'm not really sure if she thinks I am going to follow through this time. I've made commitments like this in the past. And I almost never follow through but I know I need to do this.
Other changes that need to be made are the conscious decisions that need to be made on a constant basis. I need to make good decisions about what goes into my mouth, what I say to people, how I feel when I wake up in the morning, what sort of day I'm going to have, what I buy, how I listen, how to be a good friend, about keeping this blog updated, and how to be a wonderful wife.
Sleepiness is taking over my fingers at this moment, making it a very slow typing process. I will give another post tomorrow when I am home.
Goodnight!
I'm committing myself to a new path in life.
The past few months since Pat and I moved into our new house I'll admit that I haven't been myself. I've been in the dumps emotionally and physically. Summer is supposed to be a time of activity and joy. My summer was spent inside on the couch while my husband enjoyed the weather outside, I'm sure frustrated that I wasn't joining him in the constant yard work. I hated this summer. It was hot, it was humid and there were lots of mosquitoes. So there I sat, on the couch, in front of the wide screen tv, wearing a dent in the cushions, my jeans getting tighter as the days went on. There were some good times like the actual moving in to the new house and our summer celebration with friends and family around the 4th of July but more of the time I think I was depressed.
As the somewhat chilly weather of Autumn has moved into southern Wisconsin, I have started to feel my brain start to clear. I've discovered that I hate feeling like I am just existing in this life of mine. I'm 28 years old and married to a wonderful man...and I'm just existing. I feel like I'm missing something. I'm not sure what it is but it's time to find that thing or those things I am missing.
I am one of those 20-somethings that didn't discover in college what I wanted to do with my life. I work at a bank, I like it for now so I don't think what I'm missing is a career. A career doesn't always make a person and I definitely am not the type that is defined by a career, or it is that I don't want to be.
I'm overweight. I hate to say it but I am and I have been since the day I graduated from high school. Who ever heard of the Freshman 15...oh and the Sophomore 15, and Junior...maybe Senior 15 too? Every time I've had a major change in my life, I've gained weight. There is one exception, and that was my wedding. I was not happy with how I felt in my wedding dress so I lost about 15 lbs after my wedding and I kept it off for a year and a half. I gained back that weight this summer, the summer of the couch. Ultimate weight loss goal, 60 lbs from where I am this day.
I need to find some extracurricular things to do besides get up in the morning, go to work, come home from work, go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I thought the sorority alumnae group would work for me. I haven't quite decided on that outcome yet.
So, what is the purpose of this new blog "destroying dead ends"? It's just that. I'm not going to let there be dead ends in my life anymore. I'm going to conquer those scary and nervous moments that don't let me move on, the ones that keep me from getting off the couch and make the change. Those dead end moments when I get home from work and think I am just too tired to go for a walk. Those dead ends when I want to eat half a pizza and then regret it after I swallow my last bite.
I don't quite know the details of how I'm going to do it yet. I have set myself some mental but more physical challenges over the next year. I am going to be doing the Lifetime Fitness Turkey Day 5k again this year, but the plan is to jog the whole distance. I also plan on the Krazy Legs 8k in the spring in Madison. The ultimate goal is the Iron Girl Duathlon a year from today. Some of these are large goals but I am sure that I can do it.
New running shoes were purchased yesterday in Minnetonka, a gift from my mother. I'm not really sure if she thinks I am going to follow through this time. I've made commitments like this in the past. And I almost never follow through but I know I need to do this.
Other changes that need to be made are the conscious decisions that need to be made on a constant basis. I need to make good decisions about what goes into my mouth, what I say to people, how I feel when I wake up in the morning, what sort of day I'm going to have, what I buy, how I listen, how to be a good friend, about keeping this blog updated, and how to be a wonderful wife.
Sleepiness is taking over my fingers at this moment, making it a very slow typing process. I will give another post tomorrow when I am home.
Goodnight!
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