*This is a blog entry that has been bouncing around in my head for a few weeks but I haven't had the strength or the discipline to actually type it out. This entry was also going to have a very negative mood until I started writing it and felt it change.*
I've noticed many of my fellow fitness and weight loss bloggers have had similar posts recently. I suppose, for some of us, it's the time of year. The snow is finally melted, the trees and flowers are starting to bloom. It's a time of rising out of the dark days of Winter and into cool early mornings of Spring. It's cracking my front door and feeling the warm sun on my face. It's a time to get It's a time for something fresh, something new.
The nicer weather has allowed me to put some miles on my bike for my up coming ride. I have also put some time into my overwhelming yard, raking last fall's neglected leaves, weeding out patches in the front and the back, and reseeding the dead spots caused by the insane drought last summer.
Through all of this, I have noticed I feel different. I feel sluggish and tired. These feelings keep me eating out and eating a lot, which makes me feel even more sluggish and more tired. It's a horrible cycle. Even though I could do more, my working out has been acceptable. I have no problems motivating myself to get outside.
Here is the real problem: FOOD! I have an issue with food. I have an addiction to food! I keep making excuses. "I'm too tired, let's go out. I'm too lazy, I'll just make a frozen pizza. I worked hard today, I deserve this. Hubby is out of town, I'll just stop by Culver's on my way home from work. Everything is frozen, I'll just eat nothing." Ugh! It's enough to make me want to rip my hair out. It's enough to notice the numbers on the scale reflect a weight that I haven't seen in five years.
It's even to the point where it is hard for me to publicize goals because I don't want to disappoint myself or my readers with not following through. It's a horrible feeling to say that but it's oh so true. I've set so many goals here weight loss wise and have rarely followed through. What would be the difference this time? It makes me want to cry. I dont really know if proclaiming my goals here really makes any difference unless I really really REALLY want to follow through on those goals.
This time I do really really REALLY want to follow through on those goals. Thing is, I'm still not going to post them here until I really get my feet under me. These goals are for myself. I am the one that has to live with them and live with not following through on them.
So here is to finding my feet, putting them under myself and moving forward! Updates to come.