We had gorgeous weather here today in southern Wisconsin. It’s really hard to believe
that it is supposed to rain here over the next three days. I am hopeful that Sunday will be
I was told by my mom yesterday that my first grade teacher passed away a few days ago
from cancer. I am unaware of what kind of cancer she has been struggling with over the
last 8 years but it saddens me to hear about the passing of a great teacher. I was blessed
with great teachers over my tenure in elementary school. I’m sure it weighed a little bit
that my mom was a strong parent volunteer and later a substitute teacher and teacher in
the same district. I know not everyone had the great teacher experience I had but where
would we be today without those teachers, good and bad?
I wrote a letter to go along with the sympathy card I am sending to her family. It included
a note about my memories of my first day in her classroom and how she pushed me
outside of my comfy limits and my mom’s too. Although my mom wanted to pick me up
from school that first day, this teacher insisted that I be taken home on the bus and that
she could meet me at the bus stop that afternoon. I must have survived the experience
since I am still here today to talk about it.
I was going to talk about our great teachers, and I may still do that but this little memory
made me think of something else. This one teacher had high expectations of her first
grade students. She even had expectations for me on my very first day. She didn’t know
me or my mom at all, but was still willing to push me outside of my limits. This makes
me think about pushing myself past my personal limits on a daily basis. THAT is really
what the goal of this blog is/was, “Destroying Dead Ends”.
On my way to destroying dead ends in my life, I have come to realize a few things, one
sticking out to me the most. When I approach something that I may be successful with, I
tend to back away from the success. Maybe it is because I am afraid of what I am going
to find on the other side of that hill or limit. While talking to my husband last night
about my struggles with running, I recalled last fall when I ran ½ mile on the treadmill in
November without stopping. I was shocked I was able to accomplish that. After that day,
I didn’t lace on my running shoes for over two months. I was always pulling excuses that
it was too cold or too snowy or just too dark. But when I look back on it, the problem was
subconscious. I didn’t want to go any further than where I was. Maybe it was because I
didn’t believe that I could actually do it.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. It happened in high school when I was able to
run the furthest at the end of the semester. The semester ended and I stopped exercising
to the same extent I was during the school year. It happened a couple of years ago, same
situation…same giving up in the end. It is not going to happen this time.
It is not going to happen this time! My hubby suggested that I find someone to help push
me over that hump, over that wall. In reality, I am the only one that can push myself over
the wall. I don’t really even know if it is a wall in the first place. I picture it as more of
a step, a little me on a big step, on a level field until I have to climb up the next wall.
I believe keeping myself signed up for races, runs, and rides will keep me accountable for
my success. The events are as follows (so far):
ABTA 5k, Chicago : May 14th, 38 days
Healthy Minds 5k, St. Paul: May 30th, 47 days
Iron Girl Duathlon, Bloomington: September 24th, 145 days
*I am thinking I would like to get an organized ride in there somewhere. I may be
looking into the MS 150 Wisconsin in the middle of August.
So keeping myself committed to event such as the ones above will keep me training past the point of thinking I have done enough.
To Miss Bazany, thank you for pushing me past my limits on that first day of first grade at Greenwood!