***Caution, there are some naughty words in this post.***
Did I tell you I'm running a marathon? I don't believe I did. This has been a post that has been coming I just haven't found the motivation to sit down and write it. But today is a good day so you're getting the news today. MY GOD I'M RUNNING A MARATHON! I am completely freaking out.
The date is October 7th, 2012. After my post about my 2012 events there was some questions as to why I just don't participate in a full marathon this year. Well, I had a whole list of excuses. There was the one about only running a 5k so far. There was the one about being too fat. There was the one about having other races planned for the year. I hadn't even ran a half marathon. How was I going to be able to run a full 26.2 miles in 9 months!? Thank you to Christian at The Maple Grove Barefoot Guy for being the first one to suggest I do something that scares the shit out of me. I didn't like a post he put on his Facebook page a couple of weeks ago. And quote "I'm enjoying seeing my friends attempt crazy awesome things they didn't think they could do. For the rest of you, your excuses and "I can't do it" attitude is annoying. Harden the fuck up. That is all..." I'm sure I'm not the only one this was directed to. Atleast I hope I'm not. (Christian and I went to high school together. He was two years older than me and a much better clarinet player. Please go check out his blog. It's witty and extremely informative, even if you are not a barefoot runner).
His comment really got me thinking, a lot, about what I'm doing here. Last fall's duathlon was a challenge but I knew, when I signed up for it, that I was a strong biker and the running was a doable distance. I knew I could do it. A marathon on the other hand, I have no idea if I can do it. I'd like to think I can. I actually know I can do it. It's just getting over the self doubt that sit quietly in the back of my brain, ready to jump out at me when I have a bad day or when the running is just too hard. If I put my mind to it, I can do anything right?
The craving to be successful and cross the finish line is so strong it brings me to tears if I think about it too much. I know there are people that support me to that final moment. I need to rally these people around me. My family and my husband are behind me. My closest friends, my blogging friends especially Anne at Twelve-in-Twelve who will also be running this event, her first marathon as well. Read about her commitment here. It's the people that doubt me that I need to let go of. I know people will judge me. I often think that they think I am too fat to run 26.2 miles and that I will never make it. I'm really not going to let this get to me because I don't see THEM getting up at 5am to run in the morning before work!
What are you doing this year that scares the shit out of you?
So here I am. Marathoner in training!