Saturday, October 23, 2010


...Or lack of.

Tamara came to visit with her boyfriend Corey tonight. I haven't seen here since the end of July at Andrea's wedding. Tamara used to work with me at Anchorbank, but she has now moved on to bigger and better things and I miss her.

Truthfully, I don't have any very close girl friends here in Madison. No friends that I can talk about anything with, no girlfriends that I can tell my secrets to. I do enjoy times with Michelle (another former coworker) and Anne. And I do feel that I could have a close relationship with Jana and Kinsey has been reaching out quite a bit. But the girls I am closest with now don't live here. Four of them are in the cities now and Tamara has moved north as well and Alicia is in Milwaukee.

I wish I would have taken more advantage of the time I had with Becky while she was here in Madison. There were times I spent most of my time with Pat. And she's not here anymore and I miss our Thursday night dinners while watching Grey's Anatomy. I did manage a great day at the Arboretum and a great picture of her. She was also the crazy amazing personal attendant at my wedding. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to live up to her standards. Becky is one of those friends I can talk to about anything. So is Christina.

Christina has been my closest friend since, well we've been close since our junior or senior year in high school when we sat next to each other in Chemistry class (trying to listen) but I have known her since Jr. High. Even when I went away for college and then moved to Madison, we kept in touch, we told each other our secrets. I was there on the phone when she told me the news about her mom's cancer, I was there on the phone during the final hours before her mom beautiful soul left this planet. I was there on the phone throughout school, through new men, and then later when those men were making us cry. I feel horrible because I haven't talked to her in over a month. I miss our once weekly phone calls. Christina

Andrea and Tamara are both wonderful ladies that I used to work with at the bank. Like I said above, Tamara moved north to live with her boyfriend Corey. I know she misses it down here but every time I meet Corey, the more I like him. I think he is good for her. Andrea lives in the cities with her husband. They got married a couple of months ago. I'm excited for them. I really like Andrea and I think if she would have stayed down here, we could have had the opportunity to be much closer friends. Andrea and I have joked that her and I just need to switch lives because most of her friends and family are in this area and mine are up where she lives.Andrea and Tamara (my bachelorette party)

Alicia is in Milwaukee. Alicia, I met her at a party in college. She was in the sorority I was thinking about joining. We didn't become very close until her senior year, mostly because she and I were the only two that stuck around to clean up after events. Alicia and I spend most of our time now meeting in Johnson's Creek for some outlet mall shopping, switching off to drive between her house or mine and chit chatting about various things on the phone. I am her son's Godmother. She is another friend I don't call often enough and fail to return phone calls too.Me and Alicia

Then there is my sister. She's in the cities too. She's my sister. I know she'll be there the rest of my life. She is my biggest supporter on this journey of change and betterment in myself. We've had a pretty quiet past. We fought a lot when we were younger, like sisters are supposed to do and sometimes we still don't agree but she's still my sister and I love her.Me and Alyssa (I wish I could crop myself out)

What it comes down to is that I have made friends here but then they leave. I would never replace these ladies. I just miss having someone to be able to call up on the spur of a moment. I'm sure I'll find someone soon. Or someone I can be motivated with. Pat's good at that but it's not the same as having a girlfriend to do it with. I'm sure there will be someone else I just have to be patient.

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