Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Accepting Compliments

I have been trying to write but I just have had writer's block for the past couple of weeks. I notice that entry ideas pop up at me at the most random moments, such as today when one of my customers gave me a compliment.

In the past few years, I have noticed that it is hard for me to accept a compliment, especially from people I dont know AND especially when it's about my weight or my looks.

I have two comments today from customers:
1.  "When are you expecting" (Hate that one!)
2. "Wow, you look like you've lost weight" (from a woman who has lost over 100lbs herself)

I'll touch on the second one tonight. I've gotten that comment twice in the past week from two different customers. I haven't really lost nearly as much weight as I wish I would have by now but maybe I am toning my body a bit?  In the past, before I was "destroying dead ends", I would have given the compliment-er some excuse about my clothing fitting well.  Over the past few weeks, I've been accepting the compliments and responding with a "Thank You" and a smile. Instead of just brushing the compliments off and forgetting about them, I am taking them and cherishing them.

I stole the following words from Todd Smith at Littlethingsmatter.com

Do You Recognize a Compliment When You Hear One?
Defined as an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration, compliments should be pretty easy to recognize, but can be tough to spot when we’re focused on ourselves. Here are two examples:
Have you lost weight, Mary? You look terrific!”
  • “It must be the outfit.”
Mary is sending a message that she’s self conscious about her weight and/or she doesn’t deserve credit for her efforts.
I’m really happy with the way you handled yourself on that call, Bill.”
  • “Yea, but I wish I would have remembered to tell them about the discount.
Bill is sending a message that he doesn’t think he’s good enough and that he is not able to see the potential benefit that may come from his contribution.

Responding to a Compliment
These two examples may seem obvious, but remember that compliments come in many forms. Whatever the situation, there is a proper way to acknowledge praise, commendation, or admiration.
  • Make eye contact. Acknowledging a compliment is a perfect time to connect with someone. Look the person in the eye when you respond. Doing so communicates sincerity and self-confidence.
  • Say, “Thank you.” A sincere, unhurried ‘thank you’ along with a smile and eye contact is more often than not all that is necessary.
  • Don’t explain anything. If you feel moved, you can follow your ‘thank you’ with something positive. Doing so communicates desirable character traits such as friendliness and positivity. Caution: If you can’t keep it brief and will be tempted to explain or rationalize your action or accomplishment, leave it at a simple ‘thank you.’


I think this is really some advice that everyone should take and run with.

PS: It's crazy snowing outside and I am hoping for a day off from work in the morning.

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