One Foot Infront of the Other

I ran 7 miles today! It wasn't all running but only walked 2 minutes at a time and I finished 3.1 miles in my fastest time ever! So yea, it was a good run. I went into this run not doing a long run day in two weeks. Two weeks ago is when I did 6 miles and had horrible blisters from my old shoes. I was disappointed in my time that day so I was actually nervous about this weeks 7 mile run. Next weeks 8 miles is now scaring me but I will just have to get over it.

My training this week was lacking by one day of running but I did get some bike time in. My running time last week was sooo hard. I just wasn't feeling it at all. I was just putting one foot in front of the other. Do you have days where it's just hard to stay moving forward?

Todays run just wasnt like that. Today's run went really well. I ate a bagel about an hour before my run and just kept plodding away on the treadmill. I was super excited about getting 3.1 miles done fast and I was shocked when 6 miles this week was faster than it was two weeks ago. So yea, today was one of those good days that makes me think 13.1 miles isn't that far fetched.

It's Been Worth It

When I was searching my brain for something to write about today, I kept coming back to the changes that I have experienced over the past year and a half. I know I've written about this before but I am still in awe of things that are so much different.

The change that keeps coming to me is how much better I feel when I run and how much further and faster I can accomplish that feat. I think back to when I first started running how much it really hurt. At the very beginning, even three years ago when I was running in the snow with Anne, I remember coming back home feeling exhausted! I usually wasn't running more than a mile or two and it was probably more walking than running. I remember one particular night, getting in my car after a workout, I was actually dizzy and had to sit in my car before starting it for just a little while until I got my bearings back.  I have felt the dizziness since then but its been rare.

I remember how bad my shin splints were. I remember having to stop and stretch because my feet just wouldn't flex. My shins were just too tight and it just hurt too much. But I stuck with it.

I don't know when I pushed past that because it doesn't hurt as much anymore. Now I have more mental barriers versus physical barriers. Those barriers are still there but to a lesser degree. Maybe it's just because I'm more confident? I know I can achieve any distance I put my mind too. It may take some training and pushing but I've learned it's so worth it!

If my body has made this much in changes in the past two or three years, where will I be in another two or three years? Where will I be in a year? Where will I be if when I get my weight down? How much easier will it be? These are all questions I have to think about. If I keep pushing, I know I will feel better. So why not keep pushing and striving for goals?

Tomorrow I will fill you in on my goals for the year.

1.85 Miles!

I was struggling tonight to find the motivation to write. This seems to be common occurrence lately. Maybe because I have been so busy at work I just don't want to come home to sit down to a computer.

I had a non-scale victory today, which is good because the scale has been brutal to me over the past couple of weeks (I've gained 4 pounds). I woke up this morning, dragging myself from the bed because it was still dark at 5:30am. I always make sure I look out  the bedroom window to check for rain cuz if its raining, I am going to crawl back into bed. To my luck, there was no rain and the sky was a bright but deep red from the soon to be rising sun. With half shut eyes, I pulled on my workout clothes and brushed my hair up into a ponytail. I opened my eyes wide enough to put in my contacts and headed downstairs.

The weather guy from NBC15, David George, told me last night *via the tv* that there was a strong change of thunderstorms this morning. So I had to make a point to check the radar for rain before I left. There it was, a huge swath of thunderstorms about 20 miles west of my house. I was pretty sure I could get a 30 minute workout done before it would start raining, atleast I was hopeful. So I turned on my iPod and walked out the door. I could see the sky was kind of dark to the west but it wasn't threatening.

I hadn't run since Friday so I knew I would be able to push myself a little bit but because of the impending rain, I would have to do a shorter route than what I had been doing lately. I picked the 2.3 mi route, downhill the whole way out and uphill the whole way back in. Sometimes it annoys me that we live on the highest point in the neighborhood, just saying. I did my usual 5 minute warm up walk and starting jogging. I jog/run really really slow. But I just kept going. I was aiming to go 15 minutes without stopping. I was really hopeful I would be able to go longer than that but I didn't want to set my sights too high. At my usual turn around point, I decided to take a left and ran up the hill a little bit, just long enough to catch a bolt of lightening hit the ground to the west. That was just enough to make me decide I needed to start heading back to the house.

A little side note here. For those of you that knew me when I was younger, thunderstorms freaked me out! I was so scared of storms, I used to make my friends' parents drive me home in the middle of the night if there was a storm because my bedroom was the only safe place in the case of lightning and thunder. I know I was pretty lame. I used to hide under my covers of my bed during the heat of the summer because I thought that if I was under the blankets the lightning couldn't get to me.  I've gotten a lot better, I actually enjoy the sound of thunder as long as it is not associated with rotating wall clouds. So me being outside during an impending thunderstorm with lightning is a huge thing for me.

I want to say thank you to the bug that flew down my open mouth right after I turned around. It was at that point in my throat that caused me to instinctively swallow. So swallow I did, until it got stuck and caused me to cough, hard! But I kept running. Hack hack..no bug. So I swallowed again. I have no idea what was in my stomach the rest of the day. I hope it died quickly. I wanted to stop running and walk up the hill leading into my neighborhood. Trust me, this is not much of a hill and more of a casual grade. But I kept going. I rounded the corner into my neighborhood where it flattens out for  just a little bit. My legs felt good, my lungs did not. But I just kept going. I didn't let myself eye the next mailbox and say "I will run until that mailbox and then walk". I just kept looking onto the next corner. Looking at my watch, I was past the 15 minute mark. I was going to keep going.

The next time I looked at my watch, it was 2.5 minutes later at 17:30. My mind was fighting with me. I really wanted to walk so I slowed down my already snail pace. I knew I could probably walk faster than I was running. The next time I looked at my watch, I only had 90 more seconds to make it to 20 minutes of straight running. I could do 90 seconds! It was really the longest 90 seconds of my life! It was like I was looking at my watch every 10 seconds. I really pushed myself during the last 30 seconds. I'm sure my neighbors thought I was crazy talking out loud telling myself to just keep going. I counted the last 10 seconds to myself, probably a bit faster than what my watch was telling me. I DID IT! I ran 20 minutes without stopping. It was time to walk.

I finished the rest of the route with another minute of running and a few minutes of walking to cool down. It just started to barely sprinkle when I walked up my driveway. The thunder was getting pretty loud at that point. Maybe a little thrill of fear ran through me before I brushed it off.

I mapped out my distance for my 20 minute run and it came out to 1.85 miles! Go me! I ran my first mile only a couple of weeks ago. This is huge for me!

A Great Vacation!

I was wracking my brain tonight trying to find something to write about. Why not write about my vacation away from work over the past 10 days?

This was one great vacation and I didn't have to shell out a lot of money to buy a plane ticket to sit on a beach somewhere! Although the vacation included the unplanned funeral of my uncle Jim, it also included time spent with my family, the Glee concert, meeting new friends, and reaching personal goals. I really did get a lot done in just those few 10 days.

I headed up to the Twin Cities, where I grew up for those who don't know, on Sunday morning. I had to make sure I was going to make it to the Prior Fat Pack Potluck. After forcing myself into an uncomfortable situation because I was alone in a group of people I had never met, I am so glad I did it. The next morning, I got up bright and early to attend the Challenge Hearts and Minds 5k. It had been storming just an hour before we left the house. (Storms are another thing that scare me, and always have but that is for another blog post, another "dead end" I've slowly overcome) We really lucked out on the weather. Although the sky was very, very dark at the start of the race, we only had a little bit of water come down on us during the second lap around Como Lake and at that point it was welcomed! I finished with a personal best and right at my goal of 40 minutes or less and I was able to run the first 7 minutes of the race without walking. I had not been able to run that long prior.  I am looking forward to my next 5k on Sunday.

Tuesday consisted of some time planted on the couch. It was much needed because I was on vacation and I deserved some time being lazy and my legs hurt really bad from the day before. I did get my hair cut in the morning. I was going to go for a bike ride but the 40 mph wind gusts deterred me. Instead my dad and I went for a four mile walk in the afternoon. We got in some much needed father/daughter time.

Wednesday included some much needed shopping time. I learned of my uncle's passing the night before and had not brought any funeral appropriate clothing with me. I really hate trying on clothes, especially since I have gained weight. I was pleasantly surprised when I found a great dress at Macy's in a size 0x. I realized that I am right on the edge of clothing that is classified for the Plus-sized department and clothing that is regular sizes. Thursday morning I found some black dress pants and a shirt in the regular clothing section. I was beyond elated about that and they were on clearance. One pair of pants was marked down to $4 at Macys! I'm hoping that I will never have to step back into a Lane Bryant, except maybe to buy Spanx.

Wednesday was also my 29th birthday. In celebration, my mom had purchased tickets to Glee Live! It was a pretty good concert but I really didn't enjoy the screaming teenyboppers around us. I really don't think the performers heard them from the top level of the Target Center. Dinner before the concert was quite yummy at Red Stone. If you are looking for great rotisserie chicken in the Twin Cities, go there!

The rest of the week was spent doing some more shopping for the funeral and driving to Winona to see my extensive extended family. I saw some cousins I hadn't seen for three years. I wish it were under better circumstances. Friday afternoon, I headed back to Madison. I did have to make one last stop in La Crosse, WI at Caribou Coffee. Since then, I have been relaxing with my two kitties and my hubby. We did some gardening and week puling. We watered our veggie garden a couple of times. Yesterday morning I got up bright and early to volunteer for the Komen Race for the Cure. I need to buy a cowbell. And then Saturday night was spent with friends Keith and Kinsey relaxing in the warm summer evening at a bar patio. It was a great night with great friends!

Tomorrow it is back to work...Goodnight!

8 Months Later - Please Read

I took the week off from work so I could relax. After my 5k yesterday and sitting to talk with friends and family, I pause to reflect on the past eight months, what has changed and what challenges I still face. (I also included links on key words to past posts if you are interested.)

I am sitting in the same bedroom I wrote my first post from a little over eight months ago. I wish I could say I've been completely successful. Ofcourse there have been success but there have also been challenges I haven't been able to overcome yet. There have been  new experiences and falling into ruts and I've figured out this mental game is harder than it looks. 

My successes seem few and far between but they have been big to me. I finally got out of my butt rut. Although there is some time still spent on the couch, I am not there as much. I have been successful in getting into the idea of working out after work 3 to 4 times a day. Hell, I have even gotten to the point (some days) where I crave the exercise and am disappointed if it is raining or I have other plans for the day. I have run (walk/jog) two 5k runs in the past two weeks. I've run in the rain and it's not all that bad. On Monday, I ran over seven minutes without stopping out of the start line and I felt good. Couch to 5k has been really working for me...I think (this week I progress to week 4).

I've curbed my self-diagnosed depression. This spring has been so different from the few months after my hubby and I moved into our house last June. The days and weeks of him trying to pull me off my butt to get outside and work in the yard are a distant memory. There are weeks where watching the weather for the weekend almost becomes and obsession because I want it to be not raining so I can get into the yard. Our overgrown yard is slowly, but surely, getting under control. I think the enjoyment that exercise brings has been a huge help with this. I sleep so much better now because I am getting outside more. The fresh air has done me some good.

I have met some amazing friends through this world of blogging. The #priorfatpack was formed a few months ago through a furry of Twitter tweets among a small group of people that wanted to form a group that would have similar goals of getting healthy and losing weight in the process. One thing I have been doing more often lately is doing things that make me uncomfortable. The potluck The Pack had on Sunday night was one of those moments. I had originally invited a friend to come with me but I ended up going alone and boy, I was really nervous.... I am so HAPPY I went alone! I was uncomfy for a couple of minutes but was instantly drawn into the group like we had known each other for years. They were there to cheer me on when I crossed the finish line yesterday and I made sure I rang my cowbell loud whenever a pink-shirted member came around the corner! I am grateful for the support and love of The Pack. I make it almost sound like a cult! Maybe it will become a movement? Googling us will even come up with correct results!

Really at this point in the game, I thought I would have atleast been at 200lbs or less. To be honest, the scale hasn't moved much since the first week of this process. I try to live in denial, even yesterday, about why the scale hasn't moved in 8 months. I work out, burning at least a couple thousand calories a week. The scale should be moving but we all know it is not all about the calories expelled. It's just as importantly about the calories consumed. THIS has been the main struggle for me. I have not been really counting the calories with what I have been eating. Lunch with my friend Becky yesterday centered around talk of planning her wedding and my healthiness journey. I had expressed to her that I am working out but not losing any weight or inches. But I haven't gained weight or inches either. She asked if I was really watching what I was eating and I couldn't honestly give her the answer I wanted to give her. I wish I could have said "Yes" but it would have been a lie. My sister asked me the same question later in the evening while dinner was being prepared. 

I am not going to say it here today that I am going to start counting calories because I have said it before. It is just something that I need to do. I bite it, I write it (stolen from Jen over at Priorfatgirl).  The decision has been made. How long do they say it takes to make something a habit? Ofcourse everyone is different but from what I could find, 30-40 repetitions looks like a common comment. So that means if I track for a month or more, it should become a habit? That isn't too bad.  We will see where I am in 5 weeks!

I wanted to thank everyone for their support over the last 8 months. To my family and friends who donated to my ABTA run, thank you! To my priorfatpack, thank you! To my parents, thank you! To my sister, the Ironlady, thank you for your little words of encouragement. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you and I will still need your support in the future.