I took the week off from work so I could relax. After my 5k yesterday and sitting to talk with friends and family, I pause to reflect on the past eight months, what has changed and what challenges I still face. (I also included links on key words to past posts if you are interested.)
I am sitting in the same bedroom I wrote my first post from a little over eight months ago. I wish I could say I've been completely successful. Ofcourse there have been success but there have also been challenges I haven't been able to overcome yet. There have been new experiences and falling into ruts and I've figured out this mental game is harder than it looks.
My successes seem few and far between but they have been big to me. I finally got out of my butt rut. Although there is some time still spent on the couch, I am not there as much. I have been successful in getting into the idea of working out after work 3 to 4 times a day. Hell, I have even gotten to the point (some days) where I crave the exercise and am disappointed if it is raining or I have other plans for the day. I have run (walk/jog) two 5k runs in the past two weeks. I've run in the rain and it's not all that bad. On Monday, I ran over seven minutes without stopping out of the start line and I felt good. Couch to 5k has been really working for me...I think (this week I progress to week 4).
I've curbed my self-diagnosed depression. This spring has been so different from the few months after my hubby and I moved into our house last June. The days and weeks of him trying to pull me off my butt to get outside and work in the yard are a distant memory. There are weeks where watching the weather for the weekend almost becomes and obsession because I want it to be not raining so I can get into the yard. Our overgrown yard is slowly, but surely, getting under control. I think the enjoyment that exercise brings has been a huge help with this. I sleep so much better now because I am getting outside more. The fresh air has done me some good.
I have met some amazing friends through this world of blogging. The #priorfatpack was formed a few months ago through a furry of Twitter tweets among a small group of people that wanted to form a group that would have similar goals of getting healthy and losing weight in the process. One thing I have been doing more often lately is doing things that make me uncomfortable. The potluck The Pack had on Sunday night was one of those moments. I had originally invited a friend to come with me but I ended up going alone and boy, I was really nervous.... I am so HAPPY I went alone! I was uncomfy for a couple of minutes but was instantly drawn into the group like we had known each other for years. They were there to cheer me on when I crossed the finish line yesterday and I made sure I rang my cowbell loud whenever a pink-shirted member came around the corner! I am grateful for the support and love of The Pack. I make it almost sound like a cult! Maybe it will become a movement? Googling us will even come up with correct results!
Really at this point in the game, I thought I would have atleast been at 200lbs or less. To be honest, the scale hasn't moved much since the first week of this process. I try to live in denial, even yesterday, about why the scale hasn't moved in 8 months. I work out, burning at least a couple thousand calories a week. The scale should be moving but we all know it is not all about the calories expelled. It's just as importantly about the calories consumed. THIS has been the main struggle for me. I have not been really counting the calories with what I have been eating. Lunch with my friend Becky yesterday centered around talk of planning her wedding and my healthiness journey. I had expressed to her that I am working out but not losing any weight or inches. But I haven't gained weight or inches either. She asked if I was really watching what I was eating and I couldn't honestly give her the answer I wanted to give her. I wish I could have said "Yes" but it would have been a lie. My sister asked me the same question later in the evening while dinner was being prepared.
I am not going to say it here today that I am going to start counting calories because I have said it before. It is just something that I need to do. I bite it, I write it (stolen from Jen over at Priorfatgirl). The decision has been made. How long do they say it takes to make something a habit? Ofcourse everyone is different but from what I could find, 30-40 repetitions looks like a common comment. So that means if I track for a month or more, it should become a habit? That isn't too bad. We will see where I am in 5 weeks!
I wanted to thank everyone for their support over the last 8 months. To my family and friends who donated to my ABTA run, thank you! To my priorfatpack, thank you! To my parents, thank you! To my sister, the Ironlady, thank you for your little words of encouragement. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you and I will still need your support in the future.